thefemaleofthespeciesismoredeadlythanthemale_`

Impossible is something - A Levels

2006-08-25T17:34:00.000+08:00

so i woke up this morning and got out of bed, then, i did what any normal singaporean male would have done: i checked www.soccernet.com and low and behold, Ronaldo is not going to AC Milan! (see previous entry). i heaved a heavy sigh of relief, and could almost hear the mac donalds joints in Italy cursing at their loss of potentially millions of euros worth of Big Mac revenue.

prelims are coming and i've got that omnious itch on my knee. the itch that comes everytime a major examination, be it school or otherwise, is about to descend upon me. its sort of like going to orchard road on a weekend and trying to avoid students armed with tin-cans asking for donations - you try to avoid it and curse when they come, but you know you're in for it anyway. if you had prepared before hand, you'd have stock-piled loads of five cent coins (the lowest denomination nowadays after the singapore mint stopped producing one-cent coins, but thats another donation conspiracy altogether (see nkf)). disclaimer: i'm just kidding, please don't sue me. yea so what i'm actually trying to say is that i'm really dreading prelims although i know that i've got to face them in 3 days time. but it's sort of disheartening for me, coz i absolutely don't have the comparative advantage in mathematics and i slogged my heart out on the 2005 jc prelim papers - but cometh the hour, cometh the test, i got a mere 45 marks on a mock test. i should just stick to econs which i love, and be a 1 a-level student.

who needs 4 subs? 1 will suffice.

onto other news, SG-Idol-hopeful (or in my opinion not-so-hopeful) nurul was kicked out of the competition yesterdae. for the record, my favourite singer is Hadi, and my best friend is Johan so i am NOT a racist. i have friends of other races, and i support the racial harmony programme (is there one? well if there isn't there should be!) in singapore. but in my opinion she should have been kicked out a long time ago. a thought bubble suddenly interrupts my trend of thought by bursting through other thought bubbles - but that means a certain Joakim Gomez is still in the running. yea, i agree that if he was a foodstuff sold on one of aisles in NTUC, he would have been removed due to regulations that state supermarkets are not allowed to sell expired food.

sigh, after all that ranting and raving about absolutely meaningless stuff, i realise that i rrly should be studying right now... suddenly it seems that impossible IS something - A Levels. bleah.

There's only one Ronaldo... ...and Milan are getting the WRONG one.

2006-08-24T21:28:00.000+08:00

Breaking news (at least its breaking at the time i'm posting this post).

AC Milan (only my favourite club in the whole wide world), are tabling a bid in the region of 15 milllion pounds, YA, POUNDS (see IRONY), to secure the services of -here comes the joke- Ronaldo. and i'm NOT referring to the Cristiano variety.
yes, you heard me right, the same Ronaldo that went on an unstoppable eating spree, threatening to eat up teammate Roberto Carlos at one point, has attracted the attention of Milan coach Ancelotti. i wonder what his wages will be like? 21 Big Macs a week???

for the good of the club, i hope he makes me eat my words. but, knowing him, he'll probably eat them for me.

Another Place

2006-08-18T23:55:00.000+08:00

today (world reknown?) poet Boey Kim Cheng came to our school and gave us a lecture..

and this is me, paying attention to the lecturer during the lecture.

I'm at odds with the world today. GO AWAY WORLD. LEAVE ME ALONE.

2006-08-13T19:48:00.000+08:00

random post: L.C.S. is actually an incorrect abbreviation for L.C. ASS. thus it should be L.C.A.

ofcourse, the L.C.S. i'm refering to is noneother than sinister Lim Chin Siong who terrorised our beloved PAP leader Lee Kuan Yew during our road to independance. Curse you LCS, may you die, rot in hell, and have the remains of your rotten carcass spread upon the f*cking sh*t pile that can be found in the place where shit goes after we flushed it down the toilet bowl.

The fungus is losing the battle for toe supremacy!

2006-08-06T11:52:00.000+08:00

Random word of the day:
narcoleptic
n.pl. narcolepsies
A disorder characterised by sudden and uncontrollable, though brief, attacks of deep sleep, sometimes accompanied by paralysis and hallucinations.
word power, use it!

ok snap back to reality, whoops! there goes gravity! and i've realised that it is rather tough trying to conquer the world, all thanks to the game 'rise of nations' that owen has lent me. been playing it for abt 2 days now, and i've taken over 1/4 of the world. can't say the same for the fungus on my toe, coz its more or less losing the battle to eat up the nail due to the constant bombardment of anti-toe-fungus-solution avaliable at your friendly neighbourhood phramacist. on another more personal note, i've sort of wasted the weekend trying to conquer the world and thus i haven't done uncle johnny's vietnam war question yet. at this juncture i would like to point out that life is full of ironies (think: i've been playing a war-themed game and have neglected my cold war essay? at the other end of the spectrum, i'm fighting a battle against the raging fungus [yucks] on my toe. ALLUSION! HELLO]) so i'm sorry uncle johnny but i don't think you'd mind marking 1 less script? well not to tuesday at least, but i DO intend to get it done! yes i do. soon... maybe after i take over central asia k.

so today we can come to the invariable conclusion that fate is probably a literature student because it's full of literary devices (allusion, irony, and OH! wait here's one more! PERSONIFICATION.) ok i think literature is driving me up the wall right now. mrs ~~cloudine~~ Claudine tan just said that i am one of the weakest students in literature in class and that really peeves me out! (hey i realised i like the word peeve, it sounds so cool) not least because i've been trying really hard for lit! and by trying hard i mean doing all the homework on time and putting in all my effort for it! oh and i jus realised how stupid i sound coz every1 is supposed to hand in their homework on time and put in 100% efford for it. but hey in reality thats not the case ok! and i'm a good student that does it and it is oh-so-irritating coz she thinks i'm not trying hard enuff haha. life is angst filled isnt it? well i'm a teenager, i got the right to my daily supplement of angst.

so i think i've overshot my daily quota of complaints, and i think i should begin to end off here (ah! IRONY AGAIN!) there's band concert tonight and i'm going to support li lian and ben from band haha (ALLITERATION.. ok random insertion of literary techniques is getting irritating) so i'll cya'll later.. don't tink any1 can find this blog yet but its ok! i enjoy talking to myself! HAH.

August 02, New Hairstyle Day

2006-08-02T19:59:00.000+08:00

2006-07-22T18:55:00.000+08:00

my stomach is hungry. if my stomach had a mouth i'm sure this is what it would say "need MACDONALDS NOW". and if my stomach had hands, i'm sure it would *reach out hands and grab helplessly in thin air* and then it would say again very slowly *mmmmaaaaacccccdonaldssss*. if my stomach had legs it would walk to macdonalds by itself. and if my stomach had eyes, it would look into macdonalds from outside and secrete more gastric juices coz it would only get more and more hungry while looking at the Mc Spicy burger that it wants to put inside itself. and, using its newfound mouth, my stomach would roar out "ROARRRR". by that time my stomach would have secreted enough gastric juices due to its insatiable hunger for macdonalds Mc Spicy burger that it would engulf itself in its own juices *yikes*. then it would roll on the floor going "AHHHHH" and every1 would wish it didnt have a mouth. after a while, the juices would turn my stomach into a pile of puddy.

hmmm. i'm glad my stomach stays in my tummy where it belongs.

Daniel Powter - Had A Bad Day

2006-07-21T21:47:00.000+08:00

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on

(chorus)
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day

(Oh.. Holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

(Chorus)

Had a bad day (x5)

i wish i was as cool as Hard Gay... HOOOOO!

2006-07-14T21:28:00.000+08:00

absolutely completely entirely 100% (plus chop, stamp, guarentee, and warentee card) shacked-tired now! jus got home, and i feel like a train ran into me, with the exception that i'm not dead yet. today was quite a fulfilling day, played badminton after school in the hall, a mix doubles match, and my partner was kim (: super! even though she hasn't had any experience in badminton and i'm rrly rustry (the grip of my racket was peeling off and sticking to my hand. ya. that bad.) but we had fun hitting tat feathering thing that people call a shuttlecock which has no relation to john hitchcock. or any other rooster for that matter. although i conclude that i still much prefer kicking a ball around a small court with 9 other people (more commonly known as street soccer, not to be confused with streetfighter). oh ya and on a totally irrelevant issue altogether, zang and company have influenced me to watch this series called "Hard Gay" on youtube.com. at first i thought it was quite a boring show, but the more i watched, the more i liked it.. HOOO! haha HG is really very cool, and i wouldn't mind being in his shoes for a day, coz its something like what i do in school but mdm seet is my target, unlike the innocent bystanders that HG clowns around with. but its quite the same coz we end up laughing our heads off and being nonsensical. i think thats wht rrly makes school interesting, the hardgayness of it all (: (disclaimer: no sexual connotations whatsoever involved in the above extract)

my right arm muscle is rather sore from swinging the badminton racket around wildly for the better part of the afternoon. i think badminton was designed by civilised humans who had the innate urge to swing a club at something. sort of a way to reenact the axe-wielding, mace-swinging, sword-flinging, and otherwise oscillating movement that had been so closely associated with their medieval forefathers. KACHAA HOoO! *Swings the badminton racket*. and the only way that they could indulge in their unexplainable urges was by creating a game that best encompassed the ethos of historic man-to-man combat - modified in such a way that the combat would not be, in any way, potentially life threatening. a short while after badminton was invented, WWF (now known as WWE) came along and that signified a watershed in the history of badminton, as people became disillusioned with the game (mainly due to the lack of bloodshed, death, mutilation, or any form of human torture that would more accurately bring reference to the armed combat of the past). OK! enough craptalking, lest i become any more closely related to a lump of cow secretion - more commonly known as bullshit. oh yea, and i rrly should say a big THANKYOU to those people that came down to support kim and myself today, some even at the expense of a really thrilling and exhilarating extra literature makeup lecture which would probably have been the most exciting literature lecture that i would have ever attended had i been present in the lecture theatre with all the other budding literates. ahhh lit, the joys of english, the joys of reading... WHAT JOYS?! I WANNA DROP LIT! HOOOOOOOoO!!!

Kelly Clarkson - Beautiful Disaster

2006-07-03T00:23:00.000+08:00

He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He's as damned as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And if I try to save him
My whole world could cave in
It just ain't right
It just ain't right

Oh and I don't know
I don't know what is after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

He's magic and myth
As strong as what I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
And do I try to change him?
So hard not to blame him
Hold on tight
Hold on tight

Oh 'cause I don't know
I don't know what is after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

I'm longing for love and the logical
But he's only happy hysterical
I'm waiting for some kind of miracle
Waited so long
So long

He's soft to the touch
But frayed at the end he breaks
He's never enough
And still he's more than I can take

Oh 'cause I don't know
I don't know what is after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

He's beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster

[Fading]
Beautiful
(Beautiful disaster)
Beautiful disaster

2006-07-01T17:32:00.000+08:00

i'm not very clever, i still believe two comes before one.
i'm not very good looking, ah meng is more handsome than me.
i'm not very atheletic, i recently got outran by my 3 year old cousin.
i'm not very outgoing, when the going gets out, i go into hiding.
i'm not very humourous, i wouldn't be able to make you laugh even if u let me tickle you.
i'm not very interesting, you'd fall asleep listening to me talk.
i'm not very quick-witted, i won't know if you're laughing at me or laughing with me.
i'm not very humble, i like to boast about not being humble.
i'm not very kind, i don't buy tissue paper from the old ladies selling tissue paper.
i'm not very talented, when i sing in the toilet, people call the police.
i'm not very hardworking, my textbooks are newer than the bookshop's.
i'm not very lovable, my dog scratches my face.
i'm not very popular, the popular people run away when they smell me coming.

but i like to think that my friends like me for who i am, and thats the most important thing coz it's all that matters (:

absolutely zombified, a stomach-aching-zombified nutter.

2006-07-01T11:57:00.000+08:00

i wonder if there are living dead out there, and if they were living dead, would they feel alive? would they have 'alive feelings' like what we people go through? would they have stomach aches and toothaches and headaches? or would they be alive people that feel dead. in that respect, what does feeling dead feel like? we watch all those zombies in movies, they look like they have horrible muscle cramps coz they're walking around all stiff and stuff. is that the real reason why the living dead walk like they've got a stick stuffed up their arse? (is arse really spelt arse? or is it ass, or is 'arse' a classier way of spelling ass?) mind boggling questions race through my active mind at the start of this dreary saturday afternoon. i shall text zang to ask him if he wants to play pool later. *texting* ok done. i wonder if the living dead text people. *a reply comes into my zombie phone* zang is not free this afternoon, i shall have to spend the afternoon as a lonely zombie. i wonder if zombies are lonely creatures, lets call them creatures for now coz i dunno if they're the living dead or the dead living people. do they go to zombie clubs like ministry of zomb, or zOmb! or zombie black? if they do, imagine what music they'd be dancing too, probably instrumental pieces from the twilight zone, or the hit instrumental theme to 'jaws'. i wonder what clothes zombies wear, coz their skin is all peeling off and that makes it difficult to wash their clothes. why don't they just save money by NOT wearing clothes? oh then zombie shows will all be R21 and they younger majority of paying customers would not get the opportunity to watch them. ok that was a rethorical question. *deep breath* -a footnote: i'mjustzombifiedfromwatchingworldcupmatcheslastnightcozmyblocktestsjustendedandiknowi'mgoingtodiewhentheycomeoutsoiwon'tgetthechancetowatchworldcupmatchesaftermyresultsarereleased- *exhale* so, zombies. yep. i wonder if zombies watch the world cup. maybe they have their own world cup. with star players like Zombadona and Zombadine Zomdane. all playing at the pace of greatgrandfathers. wow. that'll won't be any fun to watch. hardly worth staying up late at night to catch it on cable.. and turn into a zombie the next day.

the world is made of spaghetti and meat sauce.

2006-06-29T12:20:00.000+08:00

i dunno whts happening to me man, thats apart from the fact that i totally mucked up my Mathematics C block test today. i think this particular exam can be classified as the worst exam that i've gone through in my entire life! yes! worst! i really mean it, worst than serbia and montenegro getting thrashed and walloped by argentina, worst than eating a live cockroach, worst. not that i've ever eaten a live cockroach before, but if i did, it won't be worst than this block tests! urgh i'm getting really super hyper now. funny how i thot i worked so hard for this particular block test, but i guess thats how life works. i think me, being me, i'd probably be a upset, grimmy sorta person for the next few days, and den the results will come back, and i'll continue being the upset, grimmy person that i was, and then i'll get over it. soon enough.

how i wish the world was made of spaghetti and meat sauce. and we'll travel around in floating pizzas with salami topping. and the rivers will be filled with noodle soup, and the government will have a environment programme to get the noodles out of the rivers so that people can swin inside the soup free of msg. air pollution would be the result of inefficient garlic bread converters installed in the moving pizzas. then someone would invent a new form of transport known as the roti prata. it would be a sim wong hoo invention, and there'll be little 'creative' logos on the top of the roti pratas. everyone would want to own one. humans would be made of little cocktail sausages... everything would be perfect, we could eat our exam scripts.

2006-06-28T17:58:00.000+08:00

i'm supposed to be having block tests now. econs was a heartaching, gutwrenching, pain in the netherlands. for all my divine, transcendent knowledge, not to mention the hours and hours of studying during the holidays (hours that could have been better spent watching the paint outside my house dry), i forgot to read the question. a question that said "to what extent" instead of "discuss". -insert censored expletives here-. needa throw some rotten tomatoes at something -not that i have anything against tomatoes. GEEZE tomato loves gif it a rest. ok i'm talking to myself again.. looks like its time to get started on my ten year series of unsolvable mathematical questions, or i could start in a short while. maybe a longer while. maybe after dinner. maybe i'll jus try my luck at the test tomorrow. maybe it'll all be ok, eventually.. i hate the word maybe.

Blind Melon - No Rain

2006-06-28T16:43:00.000+08:00

All I can say is that my life is pretty plain
I like watchin the puddles gather rain
And all I can do is just pour some tea for two
And speak my point of view but itts not sane, its not sane

I just want someone to say to me
I'll always be there when you wake
Ya know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today
So stay with me and I'll have it made

And I don't understand why I sleep all day
And I start to complain that theres no rain
And all I can do is read a book to stay awake
It rips my life away but its a great escape...escape...escape

All I can say is that my life is pretty plain
You don't like my point of view
Ya think that I'm insane
Its not sane... its not sane

I just want someone to say to me
I'll always be there when you wake
Ya know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today
So stay with me and I'll have it made